Wednesday, May 26, 2010

the photo bug bit me today

I got the urge at 8 pm to want to take pictures. Its almost 3 am and i have finally feel like my cup is filled. I probably would've went to bed a while ago, but Cameron woke up with a night terror that we could NOT shake him of. We tried water on his feet, mickey mouse club house and singing. What finally broke him was me putting him in the car and going for a drive. He drank his sippy cup and was fine. Night terrors are not fun!

But with no further adeu... Here are my photos from this evening. ENJOY!



My boys

Fear Not
my hysterectomy consumes my mind at night

oh no!
i tend to feel this way alot lately

summer time
the hotter it gets the more freckles i see


stay calm
the words i hear when i feel like im going to freak out

Monday, May 24, 2010

Thats what i get for tryin to be MacGyver

Today is not even over but it has already been pretty interesting!! This morning Keegan decided to use my bathroom to well... go to the bathroom. He only locks doors when hes doing something he isn't supposed to, or he doesn't want Cameron to come into his room and mess up his train tracks. Well I went in to check on him, and he locked the door, but he didnt shut it all the way. He had ripped the tiny amount of toilet paper that was left, off the roll, and all over the floor. Which is no biggie. I wiped his butt (hes still not 100% independent on that issue yet... i pray its soon lol), he pulled up his pants and shut the door behind him.

The weather was nice, and high was only supposed to be 80 so i started to get ready to take the kids to the park. I go into my room, and i cannot open my bathroom door. I had forgotten to unlock it when i noticed it! I tried EVERYTHING to get that door open. In fact its still locked. I tried a skewer that was too big, those tiny flat head screw drivers... that were too short. I also tried a bobby pin and a pair of scissors. NOTHING was working. I even resorted to calling my brother. He used to be able to break in my room whenever i locked the door. But he was no help. While i was trying to be MacGyver, i saw Keegan out of the corner of my eye grab something off the counter, put it under his shirt and run away. But i was so involved in what i was doing i didnt even second guess it. Actually it didnt even hit me that i saw that until i found a wonderful suprise in Keegans room. (i'll get to that in a second)

I finally just give up and decide to just get the kids ready for our walk to the park. No point of getting all mad and stressed out. I open Keegans door and he is laying on the bed on his belly. i say.. "Keegan come on lets go to the park." and he says okay mom, and i walk out. I get Cameron and the bag ready. Keegan comes strolling out.

Hey are you ready?? and as im talking to him my eyes wander down to his shorts. The pant leg is cut all the way up to the top of his pocket. "Keegan did you cut your shorts?" (heres your sign). He says yes and i ask him to show me where the scissors are and to show me everything he cut.

Here is the list:
-His shorts
-the wrist part of his Monster hoodie
-a tag on one of his shirts
-the pants on his new Jessie doll (from toy story) he cut her pant leg all the way up to her crotch
-Her soft plastic boot from top to heel
-a pillow
and last but not least
-a nice little snip in his comforter

HOLY SMOKES!!! at the moment i wasnt even upset that he cut these things. I was upset that he jacked my super duper sharp scissors that can cut through 18 pairs of jeans!! that couldve been his tiny little finger!!! Im greatful that he didnt get hurt, but now i have to stash all my scissors in the garage. I know Keegan wont do it again (so i hope) but i dont want a repeat of this with Cameron. Scary little incident!

So off to the park we went... Ill share the pictures i snapped from today

Lets go mom!

time to ride!


park fun!
Cameron loves sand

oh Cameron...


New friends
Keegan made some new friends at the park. I love watching him socialize easily and makes friends so quick! They were super cute and big hams just like him!

4 wheelin.

all smiles!
thats not sweat, i poured water in his helmet to keep him cool since his face was getting red on the ride home. That smile just melts my heart!!!

Gravel Blaster! YEA!
looks like hes trying to sell the gravel blaster bike :)

Keegan trying to be upset because he didnt want to leave his friends.

Cameron has the best seat to and from the park.

WE had a great time! Now, hopefully we can get this door unlocked and i can hide my scissors better next time!!

Have you had anything like this happen to you? Youre kids secretly snag something behind your back? I love how they think they can get away with anything. They arent very good at hiding things and guilt is written all over their face afterwards.

What a day!!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Big Changes!!!

Today i was just going to clean up the house, so it would be spic and span when Brian got home from work. Its always really nice to enjoy his only day off (Sunday) when all the house work is done. But today... i really over did myself.

I started to pick up Cameron's room and decided to take apart his crib. My sister and niece are moving in with us next month,
mommy and daughter
and i wasnt sure what the living situation would be. We only have 3 bedrooms. I dont want my sister to have to sleep on the couch and Jordan goes to bed before our family even eats dinner. Most likely the boys will bunk together, and Jordan will have to use Cameron's crib. Jordans crib is all bolted and screwed together. there was no intention to dissassemble, resemble or even move for that matter. I want Cameron to get used to being not in a crib alone in his own room. Before i mush them up together. Too many new elements is definitley a cry for disaster!

I went into my room where this huge full size mattress and box spring were up against my wall. Its been in there for quite a while because it used to be Keegans. but now hes using a twin bed. The Full mattress on the floor is such a good idea for kiddos transitioning to a bed because they have so much room to roll around that its hard to fall out! So here i am dragging the box spring across the hall.. pretty easy. Then the big floppy mattress which seems to weigh the same as a small car. im tripping over my own feet, and the mattress keeps flopping to the ground like a dead cow.

Im ready for this doc appointment any moment!

im biting my lips trying not to yell or say any obscene word, as i have these two sets of small eyes and ears directed towards me. Im sweating, and grunting and all red in the face tryin to get this stupid thing in the room. Finally i do. but ihave to shove it around the room a few times to get a good location for it. I was smart enough to even leave the toys on the floor.. so at the same time im moving them around with my feet.. occasionally stepping on a block. PHEW.

i then had to take Camerons dresser and put it in keegans room. Then put keegans two small dressers in camerons room. I used them next to the mattress to help secure him in. We did this with Keegan and it worked really well. So now i have huge mounds of clothes on the beds. I wasnt going to lug them in the other room and add to the poundage. Im not even really supposed to be lifting anything as of right now!.. too bad im on a roll.

I get both rooms organized and rearranged. Toy boxes and shelves in the most efficient areas.. Why does everything seem to weigh 500 lbs when brian isnt attached to the other end??

so heres half the room with no crib!

i know its a cruddy pic but its from my phone.. bare with me.

After i finish my shanannagins, i start to cramp and hurt and get dizzy. So i sit, grab a water bottle and relax. And as im sitting, im hoping i didnt make some awful mistake. oh no.. what have i done. What if cameron wasnt ready to be out of his crib? what if i just unleashed hell on our family and we arent going to sleep for the next month. Good Grief! As i stare at the crib that is dismantled into 6 different pieces, with the bumpers still attached to one rail, ( i could NOT untie that knot so i left it), i really hope that this will all work out. Keegan was already in a toddler bed by this age and he did great! Cameron has been about 2 months behind everything, but im sure its okay. I start to reassure myself and just say.. screw it. It never hurts to try. Its not that hard to put the crib back together if you need to.

Nap time comes... okay this is it!

I do our normal thing... i turn on his music machine. (it used to be attached to his rails but i just put it next to his pillow by the dresser). hes hugging his bear in one arm, and scooby doo in the other. Were hugging and swaying side to side. I tell him nanight, give him a kiss and lay him on his belly. hes all well and fine until i walk out and close the door. I tried to act like nothing was different.. but that didnt fool him. He cried for about 4 minutes and i went back in there.

I felt bad. too many new things... Okay ill pat your back until you fall asleep. I had to the same thing for Keegan when we first introduced the toddler bed to him. Im okay with doing that. Within 2 minutes he was conked out cold. I layed the other pillow on the edge of the bed that he was laying closest too.. just in case. So far so good! hes been passed out for about 45 minutes and still zonked! yay!! Maybe this wont be so bad after all. HE looks so small and cute in that big ol bed. awww

Part 2 Keegans Flomax!

Today we started Keegans flomax inhaler! We've been practicing how to use his inhaler and spacer, without giving him the medicine. which im really glad i decided to do, because the first few times when we practiced he just laughed and giggled. he did a great job and had no trouble at all! He calls it his puffer. :)
Ive been really nervous about starting the flomax, since i tend to look online.. which i know i shouldnt. I see tons of reviews on flomax.. how bad it is.. made thier kids act outrageous and emotional. Anger issues and overly sensitive. Now at first i was like.. oh no!!!! what if that happens to me??
But truth is... Kids from age 2-5 are emotional, tempermental little things. Steroids or not. This is just my opinion, but im sure some parents use the fact that thier kid is on a steroid to excuse the bad behavior. No it couldnt be thier parenting or the fact they are treating them different because they know they are on a steroid... noooo... Dont get me wrong. I know that there are some kids who probably do have reactions to the medicine... but in my mind... kids are testy anyway. I wouldnt jump to blame the steroid. So with that in mind... were just taking it day by day. So far Keegans doing great! No changes in attitude or behavior. he was hyper as crap... but that usually happens when i rearrange our there is new stuff going on in the house. not to mention a new bed to jump on. Im not worried about it like i was. If he gets out of control like an animal who is biting and hurting those around him... well then maybe ill rethink flomax and go back to pulmicort. But they use Flomax to treat EE and its more affective than pulmicort, so why not give it a try?? Chances are hes going to be on steroids for the rest of his life, lets try this one that is faster and is proven more effective!

So now that i have completely worn myself out with rearranging two rooms and lugging heavy furniture across the house.. i feel ready for a nap!!! I still have things to clean , but i think it can wait. I just put my body under some extreme stress LOL!!

Im ready for Brians day off tomorrow so we can enjoy our day together, church in the evening and some good old relaxation!!

Come to me and I will give you rest -- all of you who work so hard beneath a heavy yoke. Wear my yoke -- for it fits perfectly -- and let me teach you; for I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls; Matthew 11: 28-29 TLB

Friday, May 21, 2010


I find myself looking through my computer which is a vault full of pictures and videos of Keegan and Cameron from day 1 of thier lives! I notice that i have much more videos of Keegan than i do Cameron. But Cameron has much better quality infant pictures since i picked up photography when Cameron was born. Brian always tells me that we arent going to have enough space on the computer by the time they even hit Kindergarden. LOL which is probably true!! But its all these little moments that you capture that mean the most. I know i have hardly any pictures or video of me when i was a baby or even a kid. one thing is for certain... They will both know exactly how they were growing up. From how they laughed, danced, smiled and cried. I think i have documented everything so far. I just cant bust out the camera when its a birthday or Christmas. Everyday is so special!!! I know it seems a little crazy to want to take pictures everyday.. which i dont.. but pretty darn close to it. I still cannot believe that Keegan is 4. Watching the old videos and seeing the pictures from when he was born, up until even 2 years old. It went zooming by!!! Pretty soon i need to write a letter about Cameron before i forget every little thing. Kids are so precious and such miracles. When Camerons first word is cheese, you know the camera is out alot :)

Its almost impossible to get pictures of them together, sitting and smiling.. but i think tomorrow, ill make it a goal.

heres Keegan as a newborn in the hospital

heres Cameron as a newborn just days old at home

i want to cherish these moments forever! and i want them to know how much i love them with all my heart!!!

Psalm 127:3 (New International Version)

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Blog Makeover

Hey everyone!

I'm just going to make this sweet and short :) Since i decided to reblog my life, i also re-did my blog! woo hoo!! Makes me want to blog more often. I always rearrange furniture, get new hair styles, why not spruce up the ol blogger?

I was reading through my old posts and was laughing at all things ive forgotten about. Which is another good reason to keep this blog! If i can barely remember 2 years ago, how am i supposed to remember this little stuff when im 80?? Easy, i wouldnt :) lol

Im sure alot of my recent posts will be about our family's journey alont with Keegan and his Eosinophilic Esophogitis (EE) and my experience with the hysterectomy. All crazy interesting stuff right?

I will also keep updated on being a stay at home mom, the things thats change through our house, such as decoration, rennovation and activities! struggles, challenges are walk in faith :)

I hope you enjoy the new layout because i know i do!!


Bible Verse of the day: — 1 Peter 1:22 —
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

its been too long!!!!!

Its been such a long time since I have updated this blog! I almost completely forgot about it! Life has been so crazy busy that i havent had much time to just sit and blog. Sure i spend time in my email, facebook, editing pictures, Flickr. . . LOL okay i guess i had time i just haven't done it. :)
Since the last time i blogged, we've moved into a house that we bought! YAY! no more renting!! we now live 1 mile from my mom and 6 miles from my mother in law. so much closer!!!
Keegan just had his 4th birthday party and it was a blast!!! He wanted a superhero birthday party so we made him his own special cape, mask, cuffs, outfit ... the whole shabang! we even dressed up as a whole family and his friends came dressed up in superhero outfits too! Of course my mom her husband, my brother and sister in law, and my sister all dressed up too. it was fantastic!!!

my superhero and me!


I was going to put Keegan into preschool, but with seeing how much they ask for preschool... and im a stay at home mom.. i dont think so tim. Im going to keep him in activies through the city and church and that should be enough socializing for him. Hes very smart and wont have trouble in school there. he can count up 25 and is starting read already! he can use the computer all by himself, write and type his name and much much more. smart little booger. when i was 4 i think i was still figuring out where my eyes were.. haha. well not really but pretty close!!!

Keegans health issues have been pretty stable. nothing we cant handle! Right now we have cut out dairy from his diet completely and he'll get rescoped soon to see if his eosinophil count has gone down or not. If it hasnt we'll have to cut out another food to try to find out what the trigger food is. which is always the hard part!

Cameron hasnt had any issues yet medically. I know we were scared when he was born since when he was 4 days old he was turning blue/black and not breathing when he was eating. and ended up staying in the phoenix childrens hospital in the NICU with every test done on the poor kid. Inlucluding so much blood work and IVS that he he popped every vein and ended up needing one in his head.. that he ripped out. poor kid. Hes been about 2 months behind in everything but im sure part of that is me super babying him lol :) hey you know it happens with your second since u realize how fast they really grow.

belly button!


Brian and I went through a pretty rough patch for a little while (which we wont get into right now ) but im thankful for every minute of it because we are closer than we have EVER been!! He recently got baptized too! which was an amazing thing to watch!!! He has been such an incredible Godly Father figure and an example for our family and i couldnt thank God more for that one! When we met/dated and even got married, he didnt believe in God.. and we just agreed to disagree. God works in mysterious ways!! :)

Im having TONS AND TONS AND TONS of medical issues. I love being a girl. Pardon me if i get a little.. graphic...

Pain pain pain and more pain!! Since i can remember ive been in pain. Ive always just dealt with it. Can i get a break?? lol

pre cancerous cells, endometreosis, painful sex, extreme bleeding, extreme cramping, cyst on the ovarie, acute prolapse not to mention all the lovely trips to the bathroom that put me in sweating shaking pain. traveling is a nightmare, pepto always on hand.... its not a very pretty list!

I tried birth control for 2 months to see if it would help with anything. and it made everything worse in the pain department but it controlled some bleeding issues. Over this 2 month period, with lots of research, talking to friends and family and tons of praying about it, hysterectomy is gonna be the route for me. Brian had a vasectomy right before Camerons first birthday because we had discussed that it is impossible for my body to carry another child. Both pregnancies and labor were horrific and painful. When i hear about people having wonderful easy pregnancies i dont even know what that is like! i enjoyed being pregnant because growing a child is very miraculous and i felt very blessed to experience twice but i knew my body couldnt do it again. not to mention it took almost 10 months to get pregnant with Cameron. it may never happen again even if we tried!

After seeing the surgeon again since my last appointment... we scheduled my hysterectomy. I will keep my ovaries and the uterus and cervix will be gone. They use the Da Vinci machine which is a robot basically assisted by the surgeon. the recovery is fast and almost painless.. which eases my mind with 2 small kids running around. i would stay in the hospital over night. only internal stitches, i will be up and walking around with out pain meds in a week. they say take it easy for 4 weeks, no lifting, no exercising etc... but i think thats all managable! im usually down and out for a week every month anyway.

August 5th 2010.. thats the date. Im excited to finally have all this pain gone!! i cant even imagine what that is like... have the SET date makes it real. the best part?? when i travel back to NY in October i wont have to worry about ANY of those problems!! hallelujah!! this is how i feel most of the time when i think about getting this procedure done.. happy and excited with a tinge of anxious and nervousness...

but then.. DUN DUN DUN.... the internet.

UGH! why do i look on the internet!!!??

all these horrible horrific stories about how women wish they never did it. no sex drive. it ruined thier life. taking your uterus is suicide. anyone who gets a hysterectomy who doesnt have cancer is a moron. just on and on and on. yes u run across a few.." best thing i ever did" stories .. but they are few and far between. . . my goodness!

then i keep telling myself.. well u wont have to deal with menopause because youre keeping ovaries... then i see... my ovaries failed 3 months after my hysterectomy my life sucks.
okay wow. am i ready to handle that if it happens to me?

i think i need to stay off the internet and continue to trust God with this issue.

Friends and Family who know me and my situation have described this as a blessing in disguise. even Brian tells me i should be excited to have all this fixed!

But i still cant get those messages out of my head. all those horror stories. But with all the pain that i endure around the clock.. not just 1 week out of the month... i cant imagine it being worse that what i endure now.

If i go into early menopause then so be it.. i mean.. i already am hot all the time and am moody as hell .. maybe it would straighten me out LOL!

i know that its good to look at all the good and all the bad. and in my situation i feel like the good outweight the bad 110%.. but these people on the internet.. scare the caca outta me!!!

Good Grief Charlie Brown!

Thats kind of where our family is at right now. I hope we are up to date!! LOL Ill keep up with my "hysterectomy story" as it progresses. I even told brian i want him to record me before and after i have it lol. we'll see if it really happens.. but i always want to know what i look/sound like after drugs and surgery :)

I hope you have a wonderful week and that your life is being blessed to the fullest!

♥ Lindz aka Mama Potts ♥
vintage me