Wednesday, April 8, 2009

it was just a dream, i'd never leave you

Its always sad when your baby wakes up crying scared stupid and they cant explain to you whats wrong. All you can do is hug them and kiss them and tell them its okay mommys here until they fall back asleep. You think to yourself, i cant wait until he's older so he can tell me what scared him so i can tell him its not real.

Well Keegans at the age where he can tell you what his dreams are, but doesnt quite understand what a DREAM actually is. How do you explain that to a 3 year old? Telling him it was a just a dream, or it wasnt real isnt something he can understand yet.

I was laying in bed, it was dark, i look at the clock and its 5 20am.. Yuck.. i hear Cameron on the monitor talking away, cooing happily. i look over to brian who is asleep snoring, dead to the world. "Maybe hes just hungry and he'll go back to sleep." i think to myself... But when hes talking and not crying, its pretty hopeless.

I get cameron, who has rolled over onto his tummy, pick him up and stumble back into my room. My head still hurts. When i woke up at 2 30 to feed cameron i noticed i was getting a headache... still there at 5 20 am. No bueno. Of course this happens when im really tired and have a headache. Cameron usually sleeps through the night and doesnt wake up until 7 to eat. Oh well... lets hope he goes right back to sleep.

Im so tired i lay down to feed him. AS soon as i lay him on the bed hes starts smiling at me and kicking his feet with joy. "oh crap i dont think hes going back to sleep."

Hes done, i half asleep sit up and burp him. Well now what? i'll just stay in here. Brian isnt gonna wake up with a little baby noise. A tornado could tear our house apart and he'd sleep through it.

"Okay, he'll probably fall asleep in like 30 minutes to an hour. If Keegan stays asleep and doesnt wake up we'll be good."

Im laying down talking to Cameron and hes laughing and smiling examining my face, Grabbing my nose and hair telling me about his life.

I hear Keegans door pop open and i see Keegan standing infront of the bathroom door, a striaght shot from my bedroom into the hall on the other side. Hes holding his blankey crying.

"Come here keegan whats the matter?" he hurries in my room blankey in his mouth tears rolling down his face.

Brian actually sits up because he heard him. "We have the whole family in the bed Brian. Dont roll over on cameron." Brian lays back down.. his alarm is about to go off anyway.

Keegan is crying saying.. "Keegan go in the airplane?"
What? You wanna go in the airplane?
he nods his head still crying.

"Mommy drive the air plane."
Mommy drives the airplane?

"Yea... mommy goes far far away. I wanna go in the airplane."

AWWW KEEGAN! Mommy didnt go in the airplane. it was just a dream. It wasnt real. I was here sleeping in my room. I would never leave you and go far far away.

im holding him like a baby across my lap while hes calming down and giving him hugs poor kid.
Had a dream that i got in the airplane and drove off and went far far away without him!

Brians alarm went off and he heard Keegan describing his dream to me from the closet.. and he says..
wow mommy youre a jerk lol

haha i guess so!

This morning while keegan was playing, he got his toy airplane.. mommy you drive airplane!!

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