it was just a dream, i'd never leave you

Its always sad when your baby wakes up crying scared stupid and they cant explain to you whats wrong. All you can do is hug them and kiss them and tell them its okay mommys here until they fall back asleep. You think to yourself, i cant wait until he's older so he can tell me what scared him so i can tell him its not real.

Well Keegans at the age where he can tell you what his dreams are, but doesnt quite understand what a DREAM actually is. How do you explain that to a 3 year old? Telling him it was a just a dream, or it wasnt real isnt something he can understand yet.

I was laying in bed, it was dark, i look at the clock and its 5 20am.. Yuck.. i hear Cameron on the monitor talking away, cooing happily. i look over to brian who is asleep snoring, dead to the world. "Maybe hes just hungry and he'll go back to sleep." i think to myself... But when hes talking and not crying, its pretty hopeless.

I get cameron, who has rolled over onto his tummy, pick him up and stumble back into my room. My head still hurts. When i woke up at 2 30 to feed cameron i noticed i was getting a headache... still there at 5 20 am. No bueno. Of course this happens when im really tired and have a headache. Cameron usually sleeps through the night and doesnt wake up until 7 to eat. Oh well... lets hope he goes right back to sleep.

Im so tired i lay down to feed him. AS soon as i lay him on the bed hes starts smiling at me and kicking his feet with joy. "oh crap i dont think hes going back to sleep."

Hes done, i half asleep sit up and burp him. Well now what? i'll just stay in here. Brian isnt gonna wake up with a little baby noise. A tornado could tear our house apart and he'd sleep through it.

"Okay, he'll probably fall asleep in like 30 minutes to an hour. If Keegan stays asleep and doesnt wake up we'll be good."

Im laying down talking to Cameron and hes laughing and smiling examining my face, Grabbing my nose and hair telling me about his life.

I hear Keegans door pop open and i see Keegan standing infront of the bathroom door, a striaght shot from my bedroom into the hall on the other side. Hes holding his blankey crying.

"Come here keegan whats the matter?" he hurries in my room blankey in his mouth tears rolling down his face.

Brian actually sits up because he heard him. "We have the whole family in the bed Brian. Dont roll over on cameron." Brian lays back down.. his alarm is about to go off anyway.

Keegan is crying saying.. "Keegan go in the airplane?"
What? You wanna go in the airplane?
he nods his head still crying.

"Mommy drive the air plane."
Mommy drives the airplane?

"Yea... mommy goes far far away. I wanna go in the airplane."

AWWW KEEGAN! Mommy didnt go in the airplane. it was just a dream. It wasnt real. I was here sleeping in my room. I would never leave you and go far far away.

im holding him like a baby across my lap while hes calming down and giving him hugs poor kid.
Had a dream that i got in the airplane and drove off and went far far away without him!

Brians alarm went off and he heard Keegan describing his dream to me from the closet.. and he says..
wow mommy youre a jerk lol

haha i guess so!

This morning while keegan was playing, he got his toy airplane.. mommy you drive airplane!!

How to discreetely breastfeed in public! NO WORRIES!

I used to mess with blankets and be all embarrassed about feeding in public, but for me the blanket made it MORE obvious that i was feeding my son. It caused more attention to myself especially with trying to adjust the blanket and make sure things were covered.. UGH! What a hassle! Not to mention that my son would grab at it anyway and pull it down.

Well now he is 5 months old and I can feed him in public and no one can tell!! Here is the secret... Wear 2 shirts.

I'm serious!

You can wear a nursing tank underneath, or even a v neck low cut tank top and a normal shirt on top. When your baby is getting hungry, just sit down anywhere and reach in from your neckline and undo your nursing bra/tank. Grab the bottom of your top shirt to hold it down, and with your other hand underneath your shirt, expose your breast out of your bra/bottom shirt. You are still covered completely at this point.

Then you get the baby into position. Their head and bottom hand is your shield from exposing yourself. Once your baby is in front of your breast in feeding position, lift up your top layer on the side your feeding only. Just enough for your nipple to be between your top and bottom shirt and latch the baby on. If you are showing side boob a little, place your little ones hand there and VWA LA!

Discreet feeding in public!

One time i was feeding my son at my sisters babyshower and my dad came in and he says,"Lindz can you come give me a hand?" He had no idea i was even breastfeeding!

Just be confident and practice in the mirror if you feel you need to. Covers and blankets are more of a hassle and can be embarrasing if your breast is exposed completely and your baby pulls of the blanket. I don't know about you, but I would rather NOT have that happen!

I am so comfortable with feeding in front of people now because they never see any boob! Half the time they don't even know im feeding him! If I do feel a little uncomfortable about side boob in the inital latch, I make sure that the breast im feeding on, there is no one on that side of me. Or I will sit next to a wall, or sideways on a chair, or couch to block the view.

Boobs are just like bottles! My theory is, if they see anything, they are looking too hard!!

Who Needs a Basket for Easter?

For my mom, my brother , my sister and my MIL, i filled these wine glasses with grass, m&m's 3 eggs full of candy some sweet tarts and a home made card with a message and bible verse attached to the glass i think they came out cute!! We all dont eat alot of candy and sweets so i thought this would be a good idea! I also bought them each a chocolate cross to go with it.

turning 3 and big decisions

I knew for Keegans birthday i wanted to redo his room. His room was decorated with some art of his and mine, black sheets and a green flower twin comforter which was also mine when i was younger lol. We didnt want to do his room until he was old enough to tell us what he wanted. Esp since they grow out of stuff so much.

The big decision this year was deciding between, Cars, Thomas the train, And Toystory. (not to mention Wall-E). He also LOVES bolt right now. Too many decisions. We decided to go with Cars since everyday he plays with cars, when he watches the movie he gets his lightning McQeen race car. And every Semi is "Mack" and every car is a racecar.

We bought a whole new bed set, and a huge sticker poster to go on his wall. We might get the sticker border for around his room and possibly some sort of lamp shade to go with it all.



Now, we all know how impatient i am, so instead of waiting until his birthday May 12th... i couldnt even wait until MAY, I set it up tonght with the help of Brian. LOL

Keegan absolutely loved it and was jumping up and down like a crazy ape in a field of bananas and poop.

Tonight we also purchased trick candles, and little mater and lightning mcqueen candies for his cupcakes.

Another big decision.. were doing cupcakes instead of a whole big cake. 1 reason being that it'll be easier to bake since we'll have to use egg replacer. And 2 being he doesnt eat a ton of cake anyway.. hed rather have ice cream or M&M's.

So now the big thing is this... do we try to do a bowling party? Or do we just take him bowling on his ACTUAL birthday Day and have just a party at our house?
The atmosphere is always akward since both of our parents are divorced and remarried. Who knows. i'll have to look up at some prices.

this weekend im going to take pictures for his bday invitations and start making those so i can send them out.
I think im just gonna make our theme Cars.. and tell everyone else its Pixar since he LOVES all those movies... oy.. so many decisions..

I will also have to pummle through all the mountains of toys to donate to Goodwill since im sure he will be getting more than our house can contain. This is what happens when you have 4 sets of grandparents, an uncle who spoils rotten, along with mommy and daddy. Not to mention EVERYONE ELSE who buys him crap. My sister, brians brother, his grandparents, his aunt.. the list goes on and on. Lucky kiddo lol.

Project for the next week.. get the invitations done and sent out!!!

Of course i'll take pictures of the room .. you dont have to ask :)