Wednesday, November 4, 2009

the flu, bronchitis, ear infection, asthma and an autoimmune disease. poor kiddos

Well i took both boys to the Dr today.

Keegan (3.5 years old) has the flu, bronchitis and an ear infection

Fire engine red

Cameron (1 year old on the 6th) has the flu.


and my hubby is catching the ick too. 3 boys to take care of and i have to try to stay healthy.

Keegan is the one im most worried about. hes already doing so much better. were really feeling the prayers. But he has an autoimmune disease and asthma. so far hes trucking along great. hes up and running about with his normal personality just a bit more emotional than usual. this is better then the past few days of crying laying on the couch with 103 fever and not wanting to eat. hes already on pulmicort (steroid) and nexium for his asthma and his EE. they but him on an antibiotic for his ear and another steroid for his throat to keep his swelling down from the bronchitis. I feel like i have a whole pharmacy in my house now. ive had to use his albuterol today from a huge coughing fit. but it helped.

Cameron has been up and about the whole time only having trouble with sleeping and being emotional during the day. not to mention cutting a tooth.

everyone is sleeping and i hear Keegan coughing every 15-20 mins or so and our house smells of vicks from the humidifers.

Poor kiddos.they both are constantly coughing but they have clear lungs. all stuffy and irritable.

i hope they get better soon. We had to cancel Camerons first birthday party for the following week. Just to ensure that they dont get family sick even if they are feeling better. i wouldnt want the ick lingering in our house and infect everyone during the party.

If either of the boys start to have trouble breathing we have to take them back in to be looked at. Keegan is at high risk for pnumonia because he has the flu and bronchitis ontop of asthma issues.

This is going to be a fun week.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Big Green Scary Monster!

So last night everyone went to bed. We did our nanight routine with keegan. Brush teeth, wash face, go pee, talk about our day,read Bible stories, hugs and kisses, then we leave his room. Nothing different what so ever. Cameron had his rice cereal and nursed and he fell asleep. Now Brian says goodnight.

i am still awake on the computer. WEll not ON the computer, but playing Farmtown on Facebook.

(Before i get into what happend last night... let me tell you that every night between 3-4 am Keegan comes into our room and crawls into bed. I usually put him back in his room, or if im too exhausted i wake up brian to do it. Sometimes he stays sometimes hes back in around 5)


Keegan went to bed about 10 pm. he went to bed late because he took a nap late and woke up at 6 pm.

Its about 11:30. Im harvesting some crops and i hear keegans door open... Then shut. (i smile because even in the middle of the night he always closes the door behind him). I have the light on out here and he usually comes to our room through the bathroom (which is like a hall from his end to our end, it has 2 doors). So i quietly say... "Keeeeegan". So I dont startle him.
Well he never came out.

So i finished what i was doing and i went into his room. and when i opened his door he was kind of standing at his door and he looked soooo scared. he had his hands in his mouth and trying not to cry. I said.. keegan whats the matter? he says Scary monster mommy!

I asked him where and he points to his door and hes constantly looking at the ceiling and his door. i try to reassure him that there are no monsters and that hes okay. I asked him if he wanted to pray and he said yes. So we prayed together and then i got another night lite from the kitchen and put it in his room. I had him talk about his day a little and then we sang twinkle twinkle. he wanted to sleep in my room but i told him i had to sleep in there with daddy. and he asked me if i could sleep in his room. I told him that hes okay and that i had to sleep in my room. he said that he was scared of his room and didnt like his room.

So i figured he was gonna end up in my bed anyway at 3 am so i took the monitor and slept in keegans room with him.

This morning he woke up and he was talking to me and said. mommy there was a big scary monster!!
(i said okay ill try to get him to talk about what he thought he saw)
he tells me that it was a big scary green monster.
i say.. oh it was green?
and he says.. YEA! and it went (he scowls his eyes mean and opens his mouth really wide) like that to me. and it ran up fast to the sky!

EEWW. i instantly got the shivers. I told him that there are no such things as monsters. and he takes me to the window and tells me that it ran up to the sky out there. see mommy?

We dont let keegan watch anything scary. but he DOES have a very very big imagination.
Looks like mommy will be battling a big green scary monster for a while.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Quitting Soda Day 1

Yesterday i drank the last can of Dr.Pepper from the 24 pack. I said.. okay this is it. No more soda for me. Its time to get healthy!

My son was just diagnosed with EE (which means his body pretty much attacks food and makes white blood cells called eosinophils build up in his esophogus) and he needs to avoid Chicken, Fish, dairy and corn (which also means corn syrup) and cutting back on wheat. he is already super allergic to eggs and peanuts.

So i figure, if he has to give up his favorite drink, Milk, and other foods i can cut out something thats not even good for me. something IM addicted to.

If i was able to quit smoking i am able to do this right?

haha.. oh man. Its 10:53 am and i am already dying. I am DEAD beat tired. i know by the end of the day i'll have a caffiene withdrawl headache. im starting to feel it build up as we speak. I know the first 5 days are going to be the hardest. but im hopeing that drinking juice when i want soda will help. And i hope that keeping in mind that Keegan doesnt have a choice, now either do i. I will simply put it in my head that i CANNOT have soda. just plain and simple.

Wanna know how addicted i am? EVERYDAY i have at LEAST 4-5 cans of soda. One day all i drank was soda and it ended up being 8 cans! MY GOODNESS!!

I am breastfeeding too and im beating myself up because i know that Cameron most likely shouldnt be getting caffiene. I had to cut myself off from caffiene for the first 3 months he was born because i swear that was part of his tummy issues. (we later found out that it was dairy, but im sure it contributed).

i have 3 very good reasons to quit. For myself, my waistline is growing my IBS doesnt enjoy it. too much sugar and calories and i know im addicted to caffiene. For Keegan because he cant have food he loves because it can kill him. and for Cameron, because what i eat and drink , he gets.

oh goodness this is going to be hard. HAHA i am sooo tired already. I am dragging and finding it hard to keep my eyes open. It will be interesting to see how long it will take for my body to actually remember how to function and be naturally awake instead of caffiene induced.

i havent had any real cravings for it yet. i just mostly feel exhausted.


Friday, June 12, 2009

Do you need some help out?

So today i had to make a grocery store run. You may think, oh harmless and easy right?
Most of the time the grocery shopping is the easy part. Its getting myself and both kids ready, in the car. Then its unloading them into the cart. Deciding what is best for keegan to do, walk or mandatory sit in the cart. Then its unloading etc etc.
Today i had quite the experience.
I try my best to park right next to the return cart area. There are usually several in the parking lot. Getting right next to one cuts some frustration down for sure. We get out and there just so happens to be a cart with the race car attached to the front of it, and Keegan wants to drive it. Sounds like a good idea. i have a small list so that will make up for the smaller cart, Keegan wont be running around and he'll be occupied. And today im going to try to put Cameron into the cart and buckle him in with NO car seat this time. One more step to less stress. that thing is so heavy with him in it! LOL
Everything is going smoothly, i get my Clorox wipe from the front of the store wipe down the steering wheels, the handle bar for Cameron, and off we go shopping!

Keegan is having a blast. (last time we tried the car thing, he wanted to walk instead because that's when we didn't make him sit in the cart anymore) HE sat in there the whole time driving. People were commenting on how cute he was driving and lots and lots of smiles. Cameron was content sucking on his thumb and playing with the teether toy i had attached to the cart with a few teething rings.
I'm at my last isle getting juicy juice for Keegan. I put them next to Cameron. He grabs the juice like a little koala and starts gnawing on the cap. hes talking and babbling and loving on that top. Drool is pouring down the side of the bottle. ew, but hes happy, no harm no foul.

I'm headed up to the cashier and i decide i should probably take the bottle away from him and wipe it off. A little courtesy for our cashier right?
As soon as i detach him from the bottle he starts to cry and scream! (this is the new thing lately esp if he really likes something).
I'm in line and there a few kids ahead of us with their mom. About 5 and 10 years old. They are covering their ears looking at Cameron. Great. I have the noisy kid that everyone walks by thinking.. for heaven sake shut that kid up.
So i pick him up hoping to calm him down. This isn't working. He now has snot down to his chin. He is crying SO hard that now his eyes and his face are all blotchy and red. I get him to calm down a bit.
Now its my turn to unload my groceries onto the belt.
Crap. this stupid cart is so big that i cant get in between the stand and the cart to unload my groceries. Not to mention I'm holding this very unhappy baby on my hip. So slowly I'm trying to do this. The cashier is ringing things up faster than what I'm unloading. I'm knocking batteries off the stand behind me with my rear.
A lady with the red jacket that screams CUSTOMER SERVICE looks at me with a smile. Would like me to unload that for you hun? Usually i have a hard time swallowing my pride and I'll just say, no thanks Ive got it. This time i didn't even hesitate. i jumped out of her way, knocking off more batteries that she picked up and she unloaded the rest for me. "there ya go! have a nice day" she says with a smile. Oh thank you so much! what a relief.
Well usually the walk from the end of the belt to the cashier is quite easy and out you go after you pay. not today of course.
Now I'm trying to push this extended cart that is hard to steer down this tiny isle with one hand. For PETE SAKE! I'm ramming the other side of the isle trying to get it to go straight and its not budging. I'm starting to feel my face get warm and I'm now avoiding any sort of eye contact with anyone around me.
My sweet handicapped bagger now has to come over and pick up the front end of the cart (with keegan in the car part) move it over and guides it to his end. WHAT AN INCONVENIENCE I AM TO EVERYONE TODAY!
i still haven't fixed my pin on my debit card so i have to run it as credit. This means i have to sign. And i still have a baby in my arms. That part wasn't too bad at all.
She asks me, Do you need any help out today? I chuckle in my head, is it really that obvious? I am still avoiding eye contact. "No thanks, i got it." I'm sure they thought i was out of my mind. I strap Cameron back into the cart, which now makes a quiet baby a crying baby. But as soon as i start to walk he calms down. At this point i found myself letting out a sigh of relief.
we get to the car unload the groceries and buckle the kids in.
Finally that is over. Lets go home.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

It cant get better than this

As the boys get older, as more things come our way, things dont always tend to get easier or harder. they just keep getting better. Even when i dont think its possible. Every hard time we've come across, as a family, has only brought us closer together. Every good time we share, makes us love eachother more. My family something that i'll always cherish. I thank God everyday for my wonderful husband and my boys. Things arent going to be easy. Especially with Keegans diagnosis of EE, and how it will affect our lives and our family. Food wont be the center of our family time. We have to not focus on food which is hard because everything we do in America is centered around it. celebrations, get togethers, holidays, birthdays,etc, you eat at these things.

the next hurdle will be Cameron. Knowing if he has it too or not. Will it make it harder or easier?

We just have to trust in God and really enjoy every moment we have.

one more thing to bring us closer together.

Nap Time is the Greatest

I love my kids i really do. But when nap time is here, and both kids are asleep, its my little piece of heaven. No one is whining. No one is crying. No one is screaming. No one is pulling my hair, or tugging my pants. No toys are being thrown. all i hear is the sound of Camerons stuffy nosed breathing through the monitor and the fan above me whirling around.

ahhh. Nap time.. how i love thee.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The sin of Prayerlessness

The Sin of Prayerlessness

if you could ask God for anything and he would answer it, what would you ask him for?

Some would ask for:
-Success in career
-Prosperity and wealth
-Successful Marriage
-Specific prayers for thier children
-Salvation for a friend

Are you Praying for that? Are you asking God for that?
-are you really asking God for that or have you given up?

Do you believe in Prayer, Really?

More Americans will pray than will have sex, drive a car, excersize, go to work
9 out of 10 pray reguarly
3 out of 4 say they pray everyday

Do you believe in Miracles?
8 out of 10 say absolutely

Do we sometimes think that thinking about something get subsitited for prayer?
we think we pray a whole lot more than we do pray

is it focused or caotic?
if we believed in prayer, it rolled out so so simply

the culture we live in works against the spirit of prayer
we are in the age of instant everything. Communication is quick. email, texting, instant messaging. That plays into our issue with God.

we live in a land of never never enough

how do you fit God into a schedual of always behind?

what exactly is prayer?
-simply a decision to spend time with God
-its like any other relationship you have. If yo u spend time and talk to God the closer you get to God . Its like breathing. we breathe automatically. that is what prayer should be. breathing is a natural, its a rhythm. if you dont pray youre not doing as well as you think.

Whenever you open the Bible, that is God talking to you. Its how God gets into you. you start listening. its not work its not labor

why pray anyway?
-Jesus did.
- Commune with the father
-Its how you have a relationship and he taught us to pray
-Its how you live

What does prayer accomplish?
-God mind DOES change
-it changes the heart of God
-it changes things

why is not praying a sin?
because prayerless is a declaration of independance from God
you step out of the relationship that God wants us to have with him
to do life yourself
its telling God hes not what he says hes is

the route of prayer is the proper understanding of who God is who you are and you who arent and that you need help. God i cant do this without you. i need youre help

prayerlessness minimizes God. Its a decision that we are fine without him. its the decision Not much stirs the heart of God. God i dont think you care, i dont think you want to spend time with me etc. its passing judgment on God. You arent what you claim to be.

Prayer puts things back into perspective. When you dont think you need help, you really need help. Its makes you aware of what you really feel. Whatever youre feeling, lay it out there. Lay it out to God. he can handle youre raw emotions. God is not afraid to be real with you. he wants to hear from you. When you start to put it out there you start to see it differently. I dont have the power to fix this, but he does.
helps you to see from a differnt vantage point. it opens youre eyes.

James 1:2

When you have trouble in your life consider it a joyful thing because it moves you to maturity. it develops quality and characteristics in you that peace will never accomplish. God moves you a direction when its difficult.
When you dont know what to do, God will speak into that.
If youre gonna come to God you need to assume that hes listening. you are not talking to a wall. that God in his wisdom is working out the solution to your dilemma. but it wont always going to come to you the way you think it would or should.

James 5:13

if anyone is in trouble you should pray. if youre happy you should give praise. dont hide it. be real. the emphasis isnt on healing, its on praying. when youre sick, you need to pray. can mean physical sickness, but more so its a spiritual sickness. an understaning that something is wrong inside. That you are weak.
when i realize i dont have resource and i cry out you, when im in this state i am stronger than i have ever been. and i realize who i am and who you are. i dont have the answer i need help.

Do you really beleive God answers prayer?
-its not a simple yes or no. hes far to subtle.

Act 12:5

peter is captured. the church prays for peter. He is praying between two soldiers. An angel comes and frees him and tells him to put on his shoes and clothes. and peter followed him out of the prison. he thought he was seeing a vision. the gate opened by itself and the angel left him. Peter came to himself and realized what just happend. goes to marys house where they are praying for him. Peter knocks on the door. they were astonished.

is prayerlessness a weakness or is it a sin?
-if its a weakness we treat it like a new years resolution
-if its a sin which it is, its deeper than just willing to get better. more effort to overcome it.
-Luke 18:1- they should always pray and not give up

memory verse: 1thessalonians 5:17 "Pray continually"
puts you in the right place with God. why do it alone when you can have the power of God working in your life?

The sin of Arrogance

I have been listening to a series called repulsed. its about the world's view on the church. and how we, part of the church, struggle and what we need to do. WELL this one spoke to me greatly. along with the sin of prayerlessness and the sin of religion. maybe i'll post those seperately.

i know ive struggled with secrets and living like everything is fine. Perfecting the outside but not working on cleaning the inside. you have to start from the inside out. you have to humble yourself. Humility is humiliating but it grows us closer to God.

The sin of Arrogance

What are you hiding?
-All of us live with regrets from our past of bad decisions
Have you delt with that or are you on the run?

Have you faked your walk with God?
Youre only as sick as your secrets
How will you clean yourself?

1john 1:9-
Youre guilty. You violated God. Why dont you just confess it. Just agree with God. quit calling it what youre calling it and agree with God.
you will bear the weight of it until you deal with it so just confess it.

Humble yourself and own up to your sins to eachother. and pray for one another.
Healing comes with be able to confess. you admit it and you own it and then you can be healed.

what is the sin of arrogance?
the sense of superiority that causes you me or anyone to lose touch with our propetual need to be forgiven. and i have an arrogance that says you need to be like me in a condescending way.

-Christians like to look down thier noses
-They like to think that they are better
EVEN if when you dont think you do this, it happens. we have this arrogance about us that we are better than other. There are polls that suggest that people who arent christians look at the church and the people of the church and feel looked down on.

Jesus confronted the arrogance attitude of religious people.

you run around like you have no issue.
that you have it all together

youre never too little, too small for God to meet you , but you can be too big for God to get your attention.

Humility, is humiliating. we spin our sin so we dont have to see how it really is. we convince ourselves we arent as bad as we know ourselves to be. the grace of god is greater than you did wrong.
there are no unique sinners. they are the same since that have plagued humanity. he can free you of that

James 4:6

quit playing around. quit making it a joke. humble yourself and come to the presence of God. Find your proper rank in place. youre not the general quit acting like it.

2kings 5

God promises .. all those who are proud. you will be brought low.
to the humble God says you will be lifted up.

psalm 32

its okay to not be okay . its not okay to pretend youre okay

you want to start over? its starts with honest confession of sin.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Click here to Vote for Cameron!!!!!!

Vote for Cameron to win baby idol~!! 1 vote per day until its over!! help him win!!

thanks everyone!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

it was just a dream, i'd never leave you

Its always sad when your baby wakes up crying scared stupid and they cant explain to you whats wrong. All you can do is hug them and kiss them and tell them its okay mommys here until they fall back asleep. You think to yourself, i cant wait until he's older so he can tell me what scared him so i can tell him its not real.

Well Keegans at the age where he can tell you what his dreams are, but doesnt quite understand what a DREAM actually is. How do you explain that to a 3 year old? Telling him it was a just a dream, or it wasnt real isnt something he can understand yet.

I was laying in bed, it was dark, i look at the clock and its 5 20am.. Yuck.. i hear Cameron on the monitor talking away, cooing happily. i look over to brian who is asleep snoring, dead to the world. "Maybe hes just hungry and he'll go back to sleep." i think to myself... But when hes talking and not crying, its pretty hopeless.

I get cameron, who has rolled over onto his tummy, pick him up and stumble back into my room. My head still hurts. When i woke up at 2 30 to feed cameron i noticed i was getting a headache... still there at 5 20 am. No bueno. Of course this happens when im really tired and have a headache. Cameron usually sleeps through the night and doesnt wake up until 7 to eat. Oh well... lets hope he goes right back to sleep.

Im so tired i lay down to feed him. AS soon as i lay him on the bed hes starts smiling at me and kicking his feet with joy. "oh crap i dont think hes going back to sleep."

Hes done, i half asleep sit up and burp him. Well now what? i'll just stay in here. Brian isnt gonna wake up with a little baby noise. A tornado could tear our house apart and he'd sleep through it.

"Okay, he'll probably fall asleep in like 30 minutes to an hour. If Keegan stays asleep and doesnt wake up we'll be good."

Im laying down talking to Cameron and hes laughing and smiling examining my face, Grabbing my nose and hair telling me about his life.

I hear Keegans door pop open and i see Keegan standing infront of the bathroom door, a striaght shot from my bedroom into the hall on the other side. Hes holding his blankey crying.

"Come here keegan whats the matter?" he hurries in my room blankey in his mouth tears rolling down his face.

Brian actually sits up because he heard him. "We have the whole family in the bed Brian. Dont roll over on cameron." Brian lays back down.. his alarm is about to go off anyway.

Keegan is crying saying.. "Keegan go in the airplane?"
What? You wanna go in the airplane?
he nods his head still crying.

"Mommy drive the air plane."
Mommy drives the airplane?

"Yea... mommy goes far far away. I wanna go in the airplane."

AWWW KEEGAN! Mommy didnt go in the airplane. it was just a dream. It wasnt real. I was here sleeping in my room. I would never leave you and go far far away.

im holding him like a baby across my lap while hes calming down and giving him hugs poor kid.
Had a dream that i got in the airplane and drove off and went far far away without him!

Brians alarm went off and he heard Keegan describing his dream to me from the closet.. and he says..
wow mommy youre a jerk lol

haha i guess so!

This morning while keegan was playing, he got his toy airplane.. mommy you drive airplane!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

How to discreetely breastfeed in public! NO WORRIES!

I used to mess with blankets and be all embarrassed about feeding in public, but for me the blanket made it MORE obvious that i was feeding my son. It caused more attention to myself especially with trying to adjust the blanket and make sure things were covered.. UGH! What a hassle! Not to mention that my son would grab at it anyway and pull it down.

Well now he is 5 months old and I can feed him in public and no one can tell!! Here is the secret... Wear 2 shirts.

I'm serious!

You can wear a nursing tank underneath, or even a v neck low cut tank top and a normal shirt on top. When your baby is getting hungry, just sit down anywhere and reach in from your neckline and undo your nursing bra/tank. Grab the bottom of your top shirt to hold it down, and with your other hand underneath your shirt, expose your breast out of your bra/bottom shirt. You are still covered completely at this point.

Then you get the baby into position. Their head and bottom hand is your shield from exposing yourself. Once your baby is in front of your breast in feeding position, lift up your top layer on the side your feeding only. Just enough for your nipple to be between your top and bottom shirt and latch the baby on. If you are showing side boob a little, place your little ones hand there and VWA LA!

Discreet feeding in public!

One time i was feeding my son at my sisters babyshower and my dad came in and he says,"Lindz can you come give me a hand?" He had no idea i was even breastfeeding!

Just be confident and practice in the mirror if you feel you need to. Covers and blankets are more of a hassle and can be embarrasing if your breast is exposed completely and your baby pulls of the blanket. I don't know about you, but I would rather NOT have that happen!

I am so comfortable with feeding in front of people now because they never see any boob! Half the time they don't even know im feeding him! If I do feel a little uncomfortable about side boob in the inital latch, I make sure that the breast im feeding on, there is no one on that side of me. Or I will sit next to a wall, or sideways on a chair, or couch to block the view.

Boobs are just like bottles! My theory is, if they see anything, they are looking too hard!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Who Needs a Basket for Easter?

For my mom, my brother , my sister and my MIL, i filled these wine glasses with grass, m&m's 3 eggs full of candy some sweet tarts and a home made card with a message and bible verse attached to the glass i think they came out cute!! We all dont eat alot of candy and sweets so i thought this would be a good idea! I also bought them each a chocolate cross to go with it.


Thursday, April 2, 2009

turning 3 and big decisions

I knew for Keegans birthday i wanted to redo his room. His room was decorated with some art of his and mine, black sheets and a green flower twin comforter which was also mine when i was younger lol. We didnt want to do his room until he was old enough to tell us what he wanted. Esp since they grow out of stuff so much.

The big decision this year was deciding between, Cars, Thomas the train, And Toystory. (not to mention Wall-E). He also LOVES bolt right now. Too many decisions. We decided to go with Cars since everyday he plays with cars, when he watches the movie he gets his lightning McQeen race car. And every Semi is "Mack" and every car is a racecar.

We bought a whole new bed set, and a huge sticker poster to go on his wall. We might get the sticker border for around his room and possibly some sort of lamp shade to go with it all.


Now, we all know how impatient i am, so instead of waiting until his birthday May 12th... i couldnt even wait until MAY, I set it up tonght with the help of Brian. LOL

Keegan absolutely loved it and was jumping up and down like a crazy ape in a field of bananas and poop.

Tonight we also purchased trick candles, and little mater and lightning mcqueen candies for his cupcakes.

Another big decision.. were doing cupcakes instead of a whole big cake. 1 reason being that it'll be easier to bake since we'll have to use egg replacer. And 2 being he doesnt eat a ton of cake anyway.. hed rather have ice cream or M&M's.

So now the big thing is this... do we try to do a bowling party? Or do we just take him bowling on his ACTUAL birthday Day and have just a party at our house?
The atmosphere is always akward since both of our parents are divorced and remarried. Who knows. i'll have to look up at some prices.

this weekend im going to take pictures for his bday invitations and start making those so i can send them out.
I think im just gonna make our theme Cars.. and tell everyone else its Pixar since he LOVES all those movies... oy.. so many decisions..

I will also have to pummle through all the mountains of toys to donate to Goodwill since im sure he will be getting more than our house can contain. This is what happens when you have 4 sets of grandparents, an uncle who spoils rotten, along with mommy and daddy. Not to mention EVERYONE ELSE who buys him crap. My sister, brians brother, his grandparents, his aunt.. the list goes on and on. Lucky kiddo lol.

Project for the next week.. get the invitations done and sent out!!!

Of course i'll take pictures of the room .. you dont have to ask :)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A new perspective on Food

Originally uploaded by potts.lindsay

The food that you love, most likey make Keegan sick.

I dont understand how people can be so closed minded about issues they have never faced. Of course our big thing at home right now is food allergies. A lot of people seem to think.. its not a big deal.. he will outgrow it.. no such thing..

in all actuality.. it is a big deal! Some of his allergies could actually kill him! And now that we are learning that he may have a medical condition that makes the whole food allergy worse sucks!

To anyone who says the things above.. How dare you. If youve never experienced this first hand you can just keep your mouth shut. If this was YOUR kid, it would be different wouldnt it? But since you are watching from the sidelines, not seeing every little thing that these food allergies do to my son, you have no say.

It is so sad to me that Keegan will always be suffering with this. The peanut allergy is never outgrown. The egg allergy might stick with him as well. I pray that his body doesnt start to attack the foods that he CAN eat right now. And this is a possiblity in the future. Some of these kids who have EE can end up on feeding tubes because thier body ends up producing antibodies to every food they ingest.

When we found out Keegan was allergic to eggs when he was 1, we thought that was hard. Having to check every label, makeing sure to wash your hands completely if you touch an egg. washing your face if you eat them, because a simple kiss after an egg breakfast could result in hives. Without even looking at labels i could tell you what he can and cant have egg wise.

When we learned he was allergic to all the other foods he was allergic to, it got even harder.

At this point in time, i just feel greatful that we caught this now. that we started testing early. It will give so many answers. and help us deal with these things.

the allergist even gave us a support group number and website since EE is so hard on families. Im sure i will be visiting often.

I knew that in my head Keegan would never be able to eat cake, or doughnuts, or scrambled eggs for breakfast. he'll never be able to have the wonderful breads they have on the table at resturaunts before a meal. Did you know that salad dressing contains eggs? interesting huh.

the bottom line is this... we will do everything to make Keegan feel normal. We will allow him to have fun and grow up loving life and food! He wont know that hes missing out because there are special things we CAN make that he enjoys. Alot of the stuff he cant have arent that healthy for us anyway. So in a way.. we can thank Keegan for making us healthier.

As for Cameron... im afraid to start food with him. He is still breastfeeding only. I dont want to find out that he is allergic to foods too. But either way it wont be that bad cuz we are already dealing with the big allergies.

We are staying strong and trying to be positive.
Its going to be a long road, but we are a strong loving family and we'll get through this. One day at a time!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Eosiniphilic Esophogitis

I ended up emptying my whole pantry and getting rid of all the stuff he couldnt have into boxes and giving it to my sister! And filled it with stuff he could have. cooking has gotten alot easier and ive invented some awesome delicious dinners! HAHA

We had his allergist appointment last week and it turns out that Keegan does have asthma and they are 90% sure that he has Eosinaphilic Esophogitis (EE). they also gave us some good tips to keep his ezcema under control.

He was put on Polmocort through a nebulizer for every day, and albueterol for when needed. We also had to get Jr. Epipens.

Since we had cut out all the allergy foods for a month, they want us to put them back into his diet for a month because they need to do a endoscopy and a biopsy of his asophogus to diagnose EE. and with him being off the foods, the eosiniphils that build up in the asophogus and the GI tract tend to heal. So for them to get a good read they want to make sure , if he has this, that hes had enough time to build up the eosiniphils again. Which is bitter sweet. because we can eat the foods we love again, but we'll be dealing with coughing tummy aches throwing up and diarrhea. They dont want him to have his dangerous ones, eggs, chicken, peanuts, and treenuts.

he doesnt seem to want to eat much becuase we think it makes him feel yucky.

they also put him on Carnation breakfast because hes is almost 3 and since he turned 2 he hasnt gained anyweight. hes been about 29 lbs for a year.

His Endoscopy is scheduled for April 22nd and then we go from there.
im glad we have one of the best allergiest in the country cuz this is gonna be a long road!
After the Edoscopy we have to follow up with his allergist and they will do tests for celiac disease, the skin prick test and some other tests.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

March 27th 2009 the boys see jordan

Yesterday we went to shelly's house to visit her now that they are home. The boys werent allowed to go into the maternity area of the hospital since its RSV season. That really bummed me out, since someone had to stay in the waiting area with the kids while I went to visit or vice versa.

I remember how wierd and stressful it was adjusting to home but it seems like they are doing great.

I helped shelly cut Jordans fingernails. she already tried earlier but they were still long and the poor baby scratched her face up. I dont understand why they like to crab thier faces all the time!

Cameron looked MASSIVE next to Jordan. And Casey and Shelly couldnt stop laughing at how silly Cameron was. He sat in Brians lap the whole time and squealed and talked. he was laughing at himself and eating his feet. Casey says.."oh my god i just cant even look at him right now cuz hes so funny". Cameron is such a chunky baby and looks like he could eat Jordan!!! haha
It was so wierd, because i still see Cameron as that small... and then i when i hold Jordan its a huge shock. My baby is still a baby... but just a really big one!!!haha

Keegan wasnt in the mood for pictures but i got some good ones of shelly casey and jordan and of course Cameron who is always smiling lol.











... Daddy is always pickin on his chub HAHA

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Jordan Capri is here and she made me a proud Auntie!

Jordan Capri was born March 25th 2009
weighing in at 7 lbs 2oz 19.5 inches long
Shes is sooooo cute and perfect! I am so proud and lucky to be her aunt!
I am surrounded by boys and its so nice to add a little girl to the mix! She is going to be spoiled rotten! And that is perfectly fine with me!

Shelly better get used to me bombarding her with pictures, because she is already my newest subject!

I still cant believe that my boys were that little! they are just so precious when they are first born. So small and sleepy :)

Jordan hardly makes a peep. She doesnt fuss when you take her out of her bundle of blankets. She pretty much can deal with anything and shes only days old.
I cant wait to hold her again!!


Saturday, March 7, 2009

love like the movies

Theres something about romance. Something about watching a romantic movie that makes you want something more. Makes you realize how much you love that special person. Is it just me? Or does this happen to everyone?
The romance, the passion, the love, the connection between the characters...
It makes me miss my husband even more when hes away.
it almost makes me jealous in a sense.

Our relationship is awesome and great dont get me wrong. but theres just something about the movies.. Something that makes me wish itd happen to me THAT way.

When we kiss, or even when we make love, it really does feel like the movies. Sometimes i have to shake myself out of it and realize that this is ACTUALLY happening.

Brian is a very romantic guy. Ever since the get go. Things have died off since the kids were born.. but that was expected. you hear that from every person who HAS kids. so why would it be different for me?

Why do we long for that passion, that excitement that love?
WE have it in some aspects of our lives, but if you could, would you wish for more? Would you want to be MORE romantic? more dramatic?

Sometimes iwish i could just.. change the way my body looks, have my hair perfect everyday. To be beautiful without an ounce of makeup... and have mu husband pick me up off my feet and look at me like im the only one for him.
no insecurities, no thinking, no what ifs.. just passion. just romance. just pure utter love.

You know how men are, they feel that way, they just dont TALK about it, or they think they are showing it.
Is that how it really is? Do we hold an expectation so high because of the movies? Or is it enough?

Maybe the movies are an expression of both of our emotions put on camera. put in action to see. So that when the movie is over, when we turn off the tv, we can cuddle, make out and have that passionate sex. Are the movies there to remind us?
To let us not forget that we DO have love between eachother and its there all the time. The fire is always burning.
Even with the baby spit up on your shirt. the snot of a toddler on your pants. Your hair thrown up in a messy pony tail to keep the baby from grabbing and drooling in it.

Its not about shaving your legs everyday, or just before you know youre gonna have sex. its not about the wonderful fragrence of the new perfume you HAD to have. Its not even about the clothes or the make up.

Take all of it way... the things you try to create yourself. the things you try to make yourself look like. OR things you try to cover up.

Its you. Every flaw you think you have. Every thing you need to change.. The one who LOVES you.. actually truly LOVES you.. for better or for worse.. till death do you part. he doesnt CARE about those things.

He sees ME. without the makeup and the shabang. he wouldnt change a piece of me.
AND THAT is what i love most.

(but it wouldnt hurt to spice it up like the movies once in a while haha)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Dont worry

Matthew 6:19-34

I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

RIP Grandma

Today we got the news that my Great Grandma Harman passed away today. Its so surreal. It doesnt feel like it has actually happend. I hate that we live all the way across the country. The last time i saw her was in 2003 after high school graduation! She wasnt in great condition then. Shes has gone through a lot of things since then.

I love my grandma.

There are so many good memories of her. How she loved to take care of her garden. How she was always baking or cooking something. Everytime we walked into her house as kids, the first thing she would ask us is if we would want some candy from the candy jar. it was so convientely placed by the front door ontop of the microwave.

i remember the way her house smelt. Esp the basement. which was sometimes creepy but so fun to play it. There were couches and that little radio. the basement door that opened to the outside with the big hill.

She always had cats around her house and she gave them milk and food all the time.

No one could match her potato soup and homemade rolls and breads.
not to mention all the jams.

She was a very special woman. she raised my mom and was always there for her. I think it hurts more to see my mom so upset thats shes gone.

We've been kind of preparing for this day. Mom wanted to go back to NY last year to visit in the srping because she thought it would be her last and she was right.

Grandma always had this thing about spring. Grandpa died when i was only 1 or 2 so i dont remember him. But he died in the spring outside. and she planted flowers where he passed away. she said that old people died in the spring. She wanted to go then.

Grandma i love you and i'll always miss you. Thank you for all of our memories and your sweet hugs and kisses. You were awesome to us and im so sorry that we've had to be away from you for so long. i wish we had more money to visit more often. I hope you know how much we all love you. I know youre in Heaven now with Grandpa. Try to not to get too crazy up there together

Forever in our memory,

The boys

Its such a challenge to get the boys together and have a decent photo! One looks and smiles while the other is interested in something else. I tried haha





brothers ;)

I cant wait to see what the future holds for my little guys. im so blessed to have them in my life!

Cameron 4 months old!

Tomorrow Cameron turns 4 months. hes our little chunkers and a great addition to our little family

chubby :)

choo choo!



stay little for a little while okay??

Keegan Growing up Fast

I cant believe how fast the time is passing!! He will be 3 in 2 months! YIKES!!! We've had a lot of hurdles in the past 3 years, but nothing short of a miracle he is to us.



lunch time!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Dear Keegan

Dear Keegan,

I am so proud of you! you are 2 years and 9 months old, and you are so smart! You know all the letters of the alphabet, and you can count up to 16. (almost everytime you get so excited and skip 10 and 15)You know all your colors! You sometimes mistake blue for green and green for blue, but who doesnt? You know all your shapes too! You love to draw circles and find triangles in objects or things around the house. Today at lunch you held your arms over your head with your fingers touching and said, "Im A triangle!" You are very silly!

You LOVE to make mommy and daddy laugh. You do it ALL the time!! Its so hard for me to keep a straight face when youre in trouble because you smile and make silly faces to make me laugh. Daddy often just looks away so that i dont laugh more. You definitly are a little comedian!

Toy story is still your favorite movie. You act out scenes from it all the time. Standing on the table, talking into you arm pretending your Buzz lightyear. You have given us all our own character from Toy Story and remind us daily. Daddy is Buzz, Mommy is Jessie, Cameron is Bullseye. and you of course are Woody. When you wear a flannel or striped checkered shirt, you call yourself woody and go searching for your cowboy hat.

Singing the opening song from the movie Wall-E always makes me smile. I have you recorded on my phone singing it because its too cute. You love to sing. you are constantly singing and making up your own songs. One day you puked all over your toy parrot and the floor, and while im cleaning it up, you are going around singing "puke" to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star.

Playing with your cars is a daily routine. You often kiss your cars and and toy motorcycle when you have to take a nap and you tell them nanight. You love to make them go around the couch and the coffee table. If you are really tired, you'll lay down and watch the wheels go back and forth while you talk to your cars.

You often get super silly and and throw your toys in the air. You laugh really hard when you do this.. Especially if its youre curious george. This seems to land you in a 2 minute time out. Even though you get frustrated when youre in trouble, you always sit for your full 2 minutes anxiously waiting to get up. You try to talk to us while youre sitting there, whispering to the other parent who didnt put you there. If i put you in time out, you'll say very softly.. "daddy daddy, im in time out". You are even cute when youre in trouble.

Youre best friend is Valarie. You two love playing together! She was your first kiss. When you first met eachtoher when you were 1 years old all you two did were tackle eachother and hug and kiss. It was too cute. You always tell her.. "Valarie, C'mon! Follow ME!" and most of the time she does. But sometimes she says "Keego, hold on!" and you'll stand there and let out a puff of air while you drop your arms and shoulders to your side. You share with everything with her and always hold out your arms to give her hugs.

You are still a very good napper. 1pm is your nap time and you sleep until 4 pm. Depending on the day you'll try to sleep more but i wake you up at 4:30.

You are now completely potty trained! And if you are sleeping you wake up and tell me you have to go potty instead of wetting the bed. You have your occasional accident, but its usually because you are playing and not paying attention, or you had too much to drink before bed time. You get VERY excited after you poop in the potty. Running around the house yelling.. " Iiiiiiiii, poooooooop iiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn theeeeeeeee POOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTYYYYY!!!!" and ten you cleverly ask for a lolly pop. we had to use dum dums the first week after moved to the new house to get you excited about potty training again. But we havnt run out of them yet and we give them to you when you ask if you went poop. I wonder what will happen the day they all run out.

You are very independant and have to do everything yourself. This sometimes is very frustrating for mommy and addy, especially if we are in a hurry to go somewhere. But at the same time , we love watching you achieve things yourself. Watching you how to put on your underwear, shoes, shirts, pants, or even taking them off, brushing your teeth, turning the faucets on and off, same with the lights. You get really upset if we dont let you help pour milk or juice into your cup. And you love to make chocolate milk.

Youre favorite foods are fruit snacks, bananas, pizza, yogurt, peaches, cereal and tater tots. You are obsessed with cheese, and anything that has cheese on or in it. You still dont like the texture of real chicken, roast beef, or pork chops, but im sure you'll grow to like them. Daddy loves that you say "hangaber" for hamburger and "tisses" for kisses. He hopes you hang on to those for a while.

Your sentences are becoming more clear. You LOVE to talk and sing. (just like your mommy)

When Cameron is fussy or crying, you tell him "Its okay Cameron." or "Dont cry baby." ANd you always find his binkey for him. recently youve been kissing his feet and cheeks. Cameron loves to watch you play and talk to him. ONe day we were getting ready to go to the store, and cameron was in his carseat on the table and i said.. Keegan go talk to Cameron and make him happy. and you went right over to him and said... "Hi Cameron, im Keegan."

Your blankey is still very attached to you. Mostly when your tired or not feeling good. but if we hand you a sippy cup, you strip down to your undies and ask for your blankey. You love to bite it and wear it as a cape. Always running around the house with it around your neck saying.. "IM A SUPERHEROES!" You have a GREAT imagination already.

You wake up somtimes at night crying. You say your scared of the firetruck , or the girl fireman. we are still trying to figure this out for you. But we tell you its okay and firetrucks are nice and help people. THis seems to help.

Keegan, i love you VERY much. Im so proud of you. Everyday you are learning new things and growing up so fast. You give great hugs and kisses and you care about everyone! Grandma is convinced you are a genious child and i believe it. Your memory is outstanding! We are so blessed to have you as our son. God gave me a beautiful gift May 12th 2006.

I love you SO MUCH!

Love Always,